I am thinking of dusting this mouldy thing off and starting it back up.
Any of you former sluts still around?

I really feel like I need an outlet for situations going on in my life, and facebook just isn't the appropriate venue. It's too public and not anonymous enough... and having to remember who to filter out on what posts is just... unnecessarily complicated and fraught with possible mistakes and frustration.
  • Current Music
    Trevor Moran - I Wanna Fly

Riled up with homophobiaphobia!

So here in Hawaii, the movement for marriage equality is at a head and it looks like it's likely that we'll be state #15 that accepts same-sex marriage (w00t w00t)!

Of course, the Evangelical Christians can't contain the love in their hearts, so they're rallying under the most despicable, horrific hate group NOM (the National Organization for Marriage) to promote the slogan:
"Let the people decide on marriage!" Every day I see dozens of disgusting filth standing around with signs with that slogan on it.

Tonight we're going to go stand in front of their little demonstration with placards of our own, hold hands, and kiss and be an awesome gay couple. Here are the slogans I was thinking of for our placards. I want them to be punchy and to the point (easily read by someone driving a car). Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions for changes or additions, or any criticisms!

  1. Hating gay people is NOT a FAMILY VALUE.

  2. So when do I get to vote on YOUR marriage?

  3. Civil rights are NOT a voter's issue.

  4. Happily married 10 years. Marriages ruined to date: 0.

  5. Marriage = IMMIGRATION. Without immigration, we couldn't be together.

  6. Would you prefer that I married your daughter?

    "Anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery.” (Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18)

Feedback is massively appreciated. Thanks and much love, my pretties!

(no subject)

I am tired of being told that something as fundamentally important as my ability to love is not only a sick perversion, but a damaging abomination to humanity as a whole that needs to be eliminated or at least suppressed.

I'm tired of being told that my 10 year marriage to my husband is a sham comprised of immoral lust and that we are incapable of loving each other, despite the fact that he stood by me and cared for me when I was sick in bed for three years and almost died from Crohn's Disease.

Even worse, I'm tired of people telling me that they're saying this BECAUSE they love me too much to not tell me God's truth.

I can handle all that. I have a family that loves & supports me and a husband that I am blessed to share my life with.

What I can't handle is the thought that GLBT youth who aren't lucky enough to have the support I do are bombarded with these same messages day after day and end up depressed and hurting or killing themselves because of this hate. It needs to stop.

Krazy Kristians and their endless love affair with homosexuality

One of my pet peeves is fuckwad Christians calling homosexuality "same-sex attraction" in their attempt to cast homosexuality as some curable disorder and eliminate it as part of one's identity, which is intellectually dishonest and just another attempt at propagating their hateful, bigoted, anti-gay rhetoric.

The Catholic Medical Association (LOL) published "Homosexuality and Hope", which contains the following nonsense trying to find preventable causes for homosexuality. Note how utterly ridiculous all of this is:

In the histories of persons who experience same-sex attraction, one frequently finds one or more of the following:

  • Alienation from the father in early childhood because the father was perceived as hostile or distant, violent or alcoholic.

  • Mother was overprotective (boys)

  • Mother was needy and demanding (boys)

  • Mother emotionally unavailable (girls)

  • Parents failed to encourage same-sex identification

  • Lack of rough and tumble play (boys)

  • Failure to identify with same/sex peers

  • Dislike of team sports (boys)

  • Lack of hand/eye coordination and resultant teasing by peers (boys)

  • Sexual abuse or rape

  • Social phobia or extreme shyness

  • Parental loss through death or divorce

  • Separation from parent during critical developmental stages

In some cases, same-sex attraction or activity occurs in a patient with other psychological diagnosis, such as:

  • major depression

  • suicidal ideation

  • generalized anxiety disorder

  • substance abuse

  • conduct disorder in adolescents

  • borderline personality disorder

  • schizophrenia

  • pathological narcissism

In a few cases, homosexual behavior appears later in life as a response to a trauma such as abortion, or profound loneliness.

I think about 99% of the population can probably fit into one of those categories.

Anti-Evangelical Christianity rant

It should be no secret to anyone here that I utterly loathe fundamentalist and Evangelical Christianity to the very core of my being. I ended up exploding in a fury on YouTube and posted the following assessment of this irredeemable bastardization of Christianity:

As a former Christian who "got better", I grew up in a very liberal Canadian denomination (United Chruch - by mid 90s they had voted to accept not only gay congregation but gay clergy, celibacy not required, and they happily perform same-sex marriages). I heard about fundies and evangelitards, but did not believe they could actually exist. Imagine my shock upon gaining internet access and meeting these people for the first time. The fact that they actually identify as Christians in good conscience still shocks me to this day; my understanding has always been that Christian means "to aspire to be Christ-like", and I cannot believe that these people actually believe that their behaviour is anything other than a complete abomination and bastardization of the attitude and word of Jesus. Their actions and words are abhorrent and they seem almost proudly hateful and self-righteous.

I can at least thank them for driving people to atheism, as no one with a shred of intelligence could possibly hear their ridiculous hypocrisy and their anti-intellectual, anti-scientific nonsense and join their bigoted, odious obscenity of a faith. Calvinism in particular makes me want to vomit. They seethe with self-righteous frenzy as they point the finger towards one another, casting themselves as god as they declare conclusively who CAN and CANNOT be a Christian. Gay Christians? Impossible. Not a biblical literalist? Not a Christian. Evolutionist? No way in hell are you a Christian.

Most amusingly, being heterosexuals with no experience with homosexuality, they are of course the absolute experts on the subject, knowing - despite every single homosexual's claim to the contrary and against the word of all leading psychological, medical, and sociological organizations - that homosexuality is indeed a choice. They treat it as the one unforgivable, irredeemable sin, demanding that homosexuals "change" their orientation, which all research indicates is almost always impossible, and they persecute homosexuals with particular fervour, trying to shame them into changing and mounting a campaign of disgusting misinformation against them, trying to cast them as sexually promiscuous monsters, pedophiles, bastions of mental illness and drug abuse, and basically irredeemable subhuman scum of the earth. They claim that gay people are incapable of feeling love and instead are simply overcome with perverted abundances of lust, largely rising from an inability to form healthy same-sex friendships. And then when gay people are rejected by loved ones on the basis of these misconceptions and risk falling into depression from constant bombardment of negative judgment, we are told that our depression and shame is not a result of their campaign of mental abuse but is the result of "knowing" deep down that our behaviour is sinful and an immoral, perverse aberration. When I tell them that the blood of suicidal gay youth is on their hands, they scoff and divest themselves of any responsibility, instead blaming the homosexuality itself.

I have heard that my marriage of nine years is a disgusting farce and does not exist because marriage is the realm of religion and has consistently been defined though godas the union of one and one woman for all human history, and that the love my husband and I share is not love but twisted and spiritually unhealthy lust.

And then when I declare my absolute hatred of these evangelical idiots, they devour the persecution, feeding it to fuel their self-righteous and drive their delusions further that we are in the "end of days", evidenced by the world turning against them, and that they are indeed god's chosen people.

I declare war on the pestilence that is Evangelical Christianity. It is one of the worst plagues to face humanity for so many reasons (recently including the Uganda "Kill the Gays bill"). We need to forcibly take the Evangelicals and beat the stupid out of them until they're fit to rejoin the human race. I fucking hate them so much that I wish painful death on them.

Anti-LGBT bigotry!

My biggest pet peeve: people who take a strong anti-LGBT stance, preach against homosexuality, and oppose same-sex marriage, and then become dreadfully offended when they are called bigots, hateful, and homophobes.

I don't care if your religion justifies your homophobia; that fact does not void you from being a bigot. In all likelihood, your religion also justifies slavery (and thus racism) and gender inequality, but if you vocally advocated for slavery and superiority of men, you can bet your sweet bippy that you would be labeled a racist and sexist, and rightfully so.

When you go around preaching that something as vital and core to an individual as their ability to love is a sick, twisted, and disgusting perversion that should be shunned at all costs and that is a detriment to society, you are doing immeasurable social and psychological harm to an already oppressed minority. And then you get all BAWWW butt-hurt when someone calls you a bigot or homophobe as a result of that belief (because apparently you only hate the sin but love the sinner)? I'm sorry that we offended your delicate sensibilities, muffin. Yes, you are indeed the persecuted victim here.


I think I'm going to start using my LJ regularly again. I know I took a massive hiatus, making a record breaking 15 posts in 2012, but I feel like I really need the outlet and hope to reconnect with some of you guys who haven't jumped ship!

Today has been interesting... despite the fact that things seem to be going well for me right now, I'm having a very, very anxious day. I feel extremely panicky and hopeless, like I'm being crushed and can't breathe.

Ain't anxiety grand?


So, this year has been interesting so far for the following reasons:
  • PhD finally done after forever. Completely, 100% done. Before I was often on the verge of being done but there was one thing left to do or one checkpoint that remained that depended on the schedules of other people. Now my thesis is published and finished.
  • Still ploughing ahead with Mandarin, which is pretty much the focus of my life when I'm not watching TV, working on research type stuff, or spending time with friends. Progress is annoyingly glacial, which I hear is very common at the upper-intermediate level for most people.
  • For variation, I started learning Classical / Literary Chinese, which is the form of written Chinese that was used from about 600 BCE to 1900 CE or so. It's helping me better understand Chinese characters, since most of the same characters are used today (only in somewhat different ways), and it's allowing me to expand my knowledge of Chinese culture, history, and literature, which is awesome.
  • Spending way too much time arguing with buttfuck homophobic retards on YouTube. January resolution: stop doing it, since it stopped being fun and entertaining about two hours after I started.
  • Still unemployed *ugh*, but there are now some extremely interesting possibilities that have come up and found me. I'm not going to go into details until I have more information or they become definite things, but I'm feeling very optimistic, which is nice after months of feeling horribly depressed over the difficulties I was having even generating interest when last time I tried to find a job, I couldn't turn down job offers fast enough :/.
  • Rekindling some friendships that much need to be rekindled. Another massive highlight.

That pretty much sums things up over here. How is the apocalypse (i.e. post Dec 21, 2012) treating you?


(To study Chinese characters, I'm using Heisig's book. These are the characters I have studied from the book. I actually know about 500 more, but I haven't yet come across them in the book.)


Serial Killers!

Does anyone else here find serial killers incredibly fascinating?

Ever since the Luka Magnotta story, I can't stop watching documentaries about serial killers. I'm not sure exactly what the allure is - I think it may be that they're so far outside my sphere of emotional comprehension and they're so twisted that hearing about them is like a real life horror story, especially given that many of them are married with kids, and when their families hear what they've done after they've been arrested, the families are utterly shocked and in disbelief. That is the creepiest part by far, IMO.

My absolute favourite serial killer is 33 year-old gay Dean Corll (aka the Candy Man because his family operated a candy company), who, with his two teen boy accomplices David Brooks (18) and Elmer Wayne Henley (17), kidnapped, raped, tortured, and murdered at least 27 teen boys in a nightmarish story that has come to be called the "Houston Mass Murders":

Corll would pay Henley and Brooks $200 for every boy they brought to him to rape, torture, and kill. Henley participated in the murders, and then the three of them would together bury the bodies. Gross police negligence and misconduct allowed Dean to run about murdering without consequence, despite the fact that many of his victims were brothers in the same family. It was assumed that his victims had just all became runaways.

What's even more horrific about this case is that before Dean could be caught or even have any suspicion cast on him, he was shot by Henley, so in a sense, he never paid any price for the atrocities he committed.

Corll was the most prolific serial killer in American history at the time of his death in 1973. He was the inspiration for the ghastly John Wayne Gacy (a clown who killed 33 teen boys) and Robert Berdella (a twisted fuck who murdered eight teen boys after sometimes torturing them for weeks in the most horrific ways imaginable). However, for some bizarre reason - possibly because he was never brought to justice - Corll is largely unknown by Americans (unlike, say, Jeffrey Dahmer, who is notoriously famous for his crimes).